In chapter nine of my book, I suggest readers work through their storyline of grief by using a practice I call Micro-Grieving. Micro-grieving is when we take small but significant steps towards intentionally connecting with the feelings of our loss to move through them, so we don’t get stuck in them for too long.

Not long ago, I sat wondering when a couple I was working with would finally “get it?” They had come to our sessions week after week fighting, bickering, and blaming one another for the problems in their relationship. They avoided doing the assignments I gave them, and they acted, in general, as if they would rather not be married to the person sitting next to them.