The Book: When Grief Is Good

Available on Amazon

“A must read to understand grief.”

★★★★★

This book is a must read. The approach and knowledge that Cindy takes regarding grief is inviting, comprehensive, and tolerable - which is why When Grief Is Good title makes sense to me. It’s hard to process what we are grieving. I love that Cindy has found a way to make it understandable and accessible. If we don’t process our grief, it gets stored up in our body and compromises our relationships. I recommend this for anyone wanting to look at grief through a different lens and heal.

– L.J.

PAGE 70, PARAGRAPH 2, CHAPTER 4

When you have protective factors, the likelihood you will develop more resilience - the ability to not just bounce back from a hard time, but to bounce forward – increases.

A Peak Inside “When Grief Is Good”

CHAPTER 4 | LOST AND FOUND

PAGE 89-90 PARAGRAPH 2-3

HARD THINGS MATTER 

There’s nothing I know more difficult or crushing than the experience of deep loss. Perhaps people go through hard times, difficult, crushing experiences, and harrowing episodes, and come out on the other end changed, transformed, and better for it. 

But many of us want to avoid things that crush us. 
And for good reason—they’re often terrible experiences! 

But what if we need them? 

When life goes well, we rarely have to do hard things, so we’re kept from building the skillset or muscles for doing so. Like our physical muscles, which only get stronger by using them, the muscle of handling hard things grows only by handling hard things. 

By going through our loss and grief now, we learn how to manage not only future loss but future difficulties, and we grow as people. By being pressed, we learn what it feels like and how to endure pressure. When we are crushed, we learn how to adapt, to re-shape ourselves…

…It turns out that in handling hard things, with the proper tools and support, we grow more capable, resilient, and confident. 

RESETTING OUR EXPECTATIONS 

Upon touring a winery in Napa Valley, we learned about the special barrels the wine is stored in, about the temperature, and how corks are made. We learned about the aging process, the harvest, and the area’s weather patterns that all come together to make the wines of Napa so famous. Everything can impact a good “vintage,” including the soil and weather conditions, and the time of harvest. And forest fires can certainly have an impact on the grapes. 

But I was especially intrigued to learn that a drought can increase the flavor of a grape, leading to an excellent year of wine.

So when a vineyard is placed under stress and pressure and denied what it appears to need, it can produce some rich benefits. 

People are like this too. Have you ever met someone like that? The more they go through, the better they get. Though life has thrown them some curveballs, they still stand up, swing their bat, and run the bases, getting stronger and stronger each time. 

When we get under what we have gone through, understand how it has affected us, learned how to handle our emotions, and then make meaning from our struggles, we experience what experts call, Post Traumatic Growth. 

When Grief is Good will guide you to grow and become who you were always meant to be. -Cindy

  • 5 Stars | This is more than a book, it's a journey through your own story.

    I've done a lot of my own grief work and yet this book prompted me to dig deeper. I especially loved the questions and prompts that gave me a way to write out my story in such a way that has led to greater healing and a desire to not let any of it go to waste. This is a book that I will reach for frequently and will share with others on the journey of finding goodness and purpose in their grief. – SS

  • 5 Stars | The guide I needed.

    “When Grief Is Good" and Cindy Finch sort of flipped my world around with the word "grief." Before, I'm not sure I even understood that I was grieving and have been, much less what to do about it. The author offers a level of transparency and authenticity in her work that made me feel seen. How could words on a page know me so well? I didn't know that my story could come alive through someone else's in the way that happened while reading this book.

    I like the idea and guide in grieving with purpose. I liked the discussion of "Hot Spots" and being able to form plans to cope in advance of future interactions with the things that reignite my trauma and in the past caused me to lock-up. The book is filled with check-lists and questions to ask yourself. It really is the right read for someone asking themselves, "Well, now what?" – Anonymous

  • 5 Stars | An engaging and practical guide to healing.

    As a trauma therapist working with individuals suffering with PTSD and loads of grief, I found this book to be so useful in helping individuals walk through stages of where they're at with practical guidance. The author provides tools and exercises for someone to walk through this on their own or for clinicians like myself to use with clients in our work to help them heal. By sharing her own real life experiences the author is engaging and authentic and she makes you feel like she is there in the healing process with you. — MH

  • 5 Stars | Get around your grief!

    Cindy Finch writes from the heart with a narrative of her journeys with grief. She honors loss yet shows us how to get our arms around grief and understand the process. Rather than running from sadness, the book shows how to learn from it by leaning into. Good Grief, you should read this book! – K.

Now in Chinese

Interested in the Chinese translation? Visit this link to buy or send me an email!