A Therapist’s Favorite Life-Hacks

I have implemented key practices and beliefs into my life to help me level up both personally and professionally. Below are some of my favorites; I hope you enjoy them.

1. Put your shoes on when you want to get a lot done around the house. Leave them on until your list is complete. Wearing shoes will signal your brain that you’re in “work mode.”

2. If you’re trying NOT to have contact with a certain person and you can’t (or won’t) block their number, try changing their name in your phone to “DO NOT ANSWER” or “TROUBLE” These words will give you a minute to catch your breath when they text and decide if you want to reply to them or not.

3. If you feel like you hate everyone, eat something. If you feel like everyone hates you, sleep.

4. Replace “I have to” with “I get to.” A slight but noticeable shift occurs with this rewording of difficult obligations. The space That opens up may be just what you need to shift your energy and step into mental freedom about this particular situation.

5. When you get triggered through text or social media and feel like you HAVE TO RESPOND, distract yourself and wait from 20 minutes to 24 hours before you do. If you can’t, take a walk, go on a run, or call a friend who isn’t triggered to ask their opinion before you post anything or reply.

6. Ice water. For everything. Low mood, low energy, anxiety, depression. Take an ice bath, cold shower, or face splash. It’s a bio-hack for your mood. Even 15 seconds at the end of a shower or putting your face in a bowl of ice water can drastically alter your state of mind.

7. When you need to give someone feedback, be as specific, kind, and helpful as you can.

8. Failure speeds learning (usually).

9. If you have problems with everyone in your life, the problem is probably you.

10.  Some people are sent to us as teachers; They are not forever friends or lifetime partners; they are lessons.

11.  Don’t kill yourself; suicide is contagious.

12.  When you go through a hard time, don’t put it all on one or two friends and family members. Instead, spread it around to a small, safe team of people who can help carry your burdens.

13.  Try to schedule something you can look forward to each week.

14. Treat others how you want to be treated. Treat yourself how you want others to treat you.

15.  When you are holding healthy boundaries, and YOU FEEL GUILTY…congratulations! Your boundaries are working.

16.  Don’t share (over-share) your story with people who have not earned the right to it.

17.  Sometimes, self-sacrifice is necessary.

18.  Box Breathing. Learn it when life isn’t crushing you, so you can have it when it is.

19.  When you get broken open, crushed, or destroyed by life, maybe you’re a seed.

20.  Befriend every part of yourself.

21.  Sex Tip for Men: Try “edging” or doing math problems in your head to make it last longer.

22.  Sex tip for Women: 1) Practice Mindfulness to Touch to heighten your pleasure. 2) Learn to guide your partner towards what you like and away from what you don’t like. 3) Understand what it takes to reach your orgasm - if you don’t know, how will they?

23. Sex tip for couples: Leave “Foreplay” behind and occasionally lean into “Five-play.” Get a hotel for the day, hire a babysitter, and go on an all-day date. In short: Stretch out the intentional lead-up to sex LONGER. You’ll both enjoy it more.

24.  Pain is a great teacher. Stop preventing those you love from experiencing it.

25. An oldie but goodie: “If it’s hysterical, it’s historical.”

26. Parents, instead of trying to “fix” your problem child (ex: a rebellious, demanding, suicidal, addicted, or failing child), instead, fix your relationship with each other immediately. You’d be surprised how our children are just mirrors of us. Ouch, I know.

27. Create more than you consume.

28.  Time is shorter than you think; it’s the asset you don’t own.

29. Sometimes, it just is what it is. READ: Learn how to practice radical acceptance.

30. When you’re dreading something, make a “cope ahead plan,” and then put that plan on autopilot. When your brain starts to worry about the “thing,” you can tell it, “No need to worry, we have a plan in place,” and then turn your thoughts to something else. if you don’t, your brain will chew on it over and over and drain you of energy and confidence.

31. Don’t suffer twice. Most of the things we fear are 70% less scary when we actually face them than when we “think” about facing them.

32. What you focus on grows.

33. Lift as you rise. Read this one again.

34. Take action no matter how frightened you are. This one is hard; I know

35. Use the BREETHE app at night to settle down and rest so you can gear up and win the next day. Confession: I take Glen Harold to bed with me every night. : )

Which one was your LEAST favorite? Let me know at cinfinch@gmail.com